Ang Blog ni Mishel

~ Which do you think is worse? A “big fight” or a “gradual falling out”? ~

Genuine friendship is without a doubt one of the best things a person can get out of life. Making connections, strengthening bonds or simply sharing precious moments with friends are priceless. I’m not sure if you hold the same opinion on this, but I certainly won’t trade a friend even for a pot of pure gold.

Then again, some things in life are absolutely beyond our control. We may gain new friends along the way yet we also lose some in the process. It’s not because we deliberately choose one over the other. It’s definitely more complicated than that. Plus, it’s not fair to explain such a complex situation with a simple, over-the-counter justification like “that’s life!” — which is typically uttered with a shrug.

The truth of the matter is that we lose touch with old friends for a number of reasons. In general, we either experience a big fight or a gradual falling out. But if you were to choose between the two, which do you think is a worse way to end a friendship?

A misunderstanding that has snow-balled into an ugly altercation, I think, is still easier to fix compared to a gradual falling out in the sense that you’re actually aware of the issue that needs to be addressed or resolved. Although there’s no guarantee that the squabble will be brought to an end or that the friendship will go back to the way it was, I still believe that having disagreements is an essential part of any relationship. As they say, “that which does not kill us makes us stronger.” The same saying holds true when it comes to friendship.

The latter, on the other hand, is more complicated. Despite being certain that something must have gone wrong, you’re not exactly sure what it was anymore. Hence, like a blind person, you try to grope your way around in the darkness in search of the switch that would once again rekindle the friendship.

With a bit of luck, you may not need to fumble desperately for a long time. Still, fixing a falling out is a gamble. If you’re unlucky, you and your old friend may no longer share similar feelings about repairing the relationship. Well, at least you tried.